Open When You Drop Your Daughter Off at College for the First Time

Dear Mom Who Just Dropped Her Daughter Off at College for the First Time,

You’ve spent the last days before dropping your daughter off trying to recreate an idea you saw pinned on a hundred Pinterest boards: a box full of envelopes with notes to address all sorts of moments. The envelopes all have a version of “Open when/if. . .” statements.

Open when you’re lonely.

For when you’re missing the dogs.

For when you feel sick.

For when you need to get something at the store.

You filled the rest of the box with various assortments of chocolates because that makes everything better.

Here’s my “Open When You’ve Dropped Your Daughter Off At College for the First Time” note.

12 years ago, your daughter graduated from Kindergarten. She wore a tiny graduation gown, marched down an aisle and climbed up on a stage, and held a sign declaring what she would be when she grew up.

You cried while your husband tried to make you laugh by reminding you she would have 3 million “graduations” before she graduated, and “there is no way that kid next to Audrey is going to be a fireman.”

You blinked and she’s setting up her college dorm room and even though she is 18 years old, when you look at her, you can’t help but resonate with George Banks in Father of the Bride.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="

title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>

How is it that your 5-year-old is being allowed to go to college?

It’s preposterous.

I bet you hugged her tight and told her you loved her and you believed in her. You told her you couldn’t wait to see how she faces each challenge and grows in confidence, and rises to each occasion.

You told her that every end means a new chance for a beautiful beginning.

You reminded her that she’s done hard things before.

You assured her she would find her way.

May I offer you the same reminders?

This will be hard, but you can do this.

I believe in you.

I can’t wait to see what new things grow in you in this season.

You will find your way.

I watched a video from Andrew Osenga last week, and he said we should write what we need to hear. This is what I need to hear 6 days after dropping off my daughter at college for the first time.

Here we go.

“Every step
Writing stories that seek to be read
Taking hold of the moment as we discover
Every color
Filled with wonder
Now we finally see
We got everything we need

Here we go
All we need is an open road
And a chance to see
A never-ending world that's beautiful

Here we go
With the sunlight on our skin
It's a brand new day, it's ours to take and we will let it in
This is where the adventure begins.” - Tim Halperin

With you,